Life is not a bed of roses and when was it ever meant to be? The oldest universal truth on earth is that life has hardships. Having to see people go through hardships in life is not a shocker, but the various kinds of hardships that are existent in life are what make my jaw drop at times.
Out of all the hardships that I have seen in life, my own and of those near and far, I think the stigma of rejection is the worst. Okay, this calls for some explanation. Many a times, in many a phase of life people find themselves being rejected for who they are or where they belong or what they have done. The rejections can be express, implied, direct or indirect. Regardless of its type, a rejection is always a blow below the belt. It not only breaks the heart and punctures the ego, but it also thrusts you in a state where you just can’t breathe.
Rejection equals a lot of things ranging from not getting the job you had your eyes set on to not marrying the person you had your heart set on. Rejection also robs people off a lot of fundamental rights. I don’t want to sound political, politics is the last thing on my mind here, but then being rejected does take a toll on a lot of things, very basic things that we yearn to do.
One rejection may leave you dumbfounded, taking away from you the will to speak. One rejection may cause you to go so numb that you wouldn’t have strength left to move on. One rejection may strip you so bad that you wouldn’t have anything left to call your own. One rejection may humiliate you so much that you would never be treated equally by your associates, that is if you have any associates left. One rejection may leave you in such frustration that the frustration will erode all your positive thoughts. One rejection may leave you in a life that you wouldn’t want to live at all.
After the paragraph written above, who wouldn’t say I am not the worst pessimist alive? Anyone who is not naïve! It’s not pessimism that’s frothing and foaming in my mind, its realism that is whirling through my senses. However, the question here actually is what is worse, being pessimistic or being realistic? Hasn’t reality succeed in becoming such that now you really have to ask yourself whether there is any need to be pessimistic when you know the reality is always the darkest?
Surely life not being a bed of roses doesn’t mean reality has to be full of skunk cabbages. Life, I believe is a trial or a test and reality is what we make out of life. If life is studded with tests of time, trials by the nature and tribulations of luck, reality is how we cheat on those tests, lie during those trials and secretly enjoy seeing someone else in tribulation.
Reality adds up to a very simple sum. The sum is that we bring upon ourselves most of what we grumble about. When you come to think of it, most of what we grumble about is synonymous to rejection. We moan about heart breaks. We moan about disposal of our dreams. We moan about dismissal from the office. We moan about disapproval of our thoughts. We moan about being discriminated. We moan about being unaccepted. We moan but we hardly notice that the stigma of rejection is actually a vicious heirloom of man made reality that is being passed by me to you and you to another. The one who moans a rejection is also the one who turns around and does the same to another, whether knowingly or habitually is not the question.
Reality would be so much easier and the thorns of life more bearable if we could find it in our minds to walk around in each others shoes, to grow within ourselves broader perception and the sense of empathy. Our lives don’t need the stigma of rejection. I am asking you not to reject and I will not reject you either. I am asking you to see the best in me and I will see the best in you too. I am asking myself to change for the better and I am asking you to ask yourself the same.
However, judging by the trends of reality, I fear that the change in you and me might be slow. Till the change occurs, I think Ralph Waldo Emerson’s words should make life easier and reality one tone lighter, ‘Dear to us are those who love us... but dearer are those who reject us as unworthy, for they add another life; they build a heaven before us whereof we had not dreamed, and thereby supply to us new powers out of the recesses of the spirit, and urge us to new and unattempted performances.’ I wish you the silver lining.
I like the way you think!
ReplyDeleteKeep it up. :-)
:) thanks a lot!
ReplyDeleteTo, a dear friend, a response long awaited :),
ReplyDeleteMaybe your title would have been more appropriate as "Discrimination", your description seems to indicate that, for Not always are Rejections biased, neither are all rejections out of discrimination, and surely not all rejections are a curse. Rejection is a natural byproduct of choice. If something is to be chosen, something has to be rejected. To clean something, something has to get dirty.
As you quote Waldo, it is indeed sometimes the fuel that an individual needs to burn, to propel itself forward, to achieve seemingly impossible dreams, to make revolutionary changes, to discover the unknown, to create the non-existent, to reach the Stars. Rejection sometimes works like a constant friend, to kick your behind when you lose sight, to remind you ‘there’s things to be done, and a million miles to be traveled before you sleep’ when you get out of track, to get you back in focus, to make you achieve your dreams and to Prove to the world, that all those that rejected you were WRONG!! That is Revenge at its best. Sometimes, the Secret behind one’s success is rejection!
There is always someone out there fighting a harder battle, living harsher conditions, that may deserve more than your half hearted trials. You may moan all you like about being rejected, the winners never moan, that’s why they are Never rejected, They Reject the rejections thrown at them, and forge ahead, changing his/her definition on the way. Moaning gets you nowhere, blaming brings you nothing, only holds you back, lets other know not to rely you. Look up to the winners for inspiration.
You can Reject the rejection, prove it wrong, have the last laugh, and you will become the example of reversing rejections, and THAT, my friend, can inspire people, give them hope, and a reason to fight back, to not accept the rejections thrown at them, to challenge tyrannical authority, to fight for right and the truth. If you can reject being rejected, you can achieve anything.
Not all bow down to rejection or give in, and neither does everyone bear it. As we struggle in life, we find and give meaning to our existence. It is the defining difference between the living and the non-living, we struggle and we achieve. At the end of the day we reach a destination, whether our preferred ones or our creator’s determined ones, but we reach somewhere, accomplishing many a great things on the way, crossing mountains of obstacles, oceans of rejections, but we never stop, never stop living, pushing forward, yes we may give in sometimes, but we never fail to pick ourselves up and rise again, march forward, destroy enemy, bring peace. If for any reason, one of us fails, another, a father, mother, sister, brother, son, daughter, a friend the next generation, will pick things up from where we left off, and continue the journey. The human race will continue, and this failure to achieve sometimes (which is work in progress and the great indicator of it is your moaning, letting you know you haven’t achieved what you need to), which you define as rejection, will always be a part or process of attaining Success, a great teacher and a close friend.
However, on the other hand, Discrimination, is a sad part of life, the prejudice towards you that You in no way deserve, no how, blamed for your race, for your family, for your color, for your creed, for your face, and countless other elements, it is indeed a sad part of life.
Wish I could eliminate it all, wish there was a way, but surely the way to start is to spread love no matter what hatred others throws at you, forgive the other in times when they had not shown mercy when they could, gaining the ability to crush them, holding the knife at their throats making them feel close to death, and letting them go, letting them know, you have not become one of them, we can coexist, we can do without wars, live in peace.
This is not easy, but always remember, no matter how many divided tribes there were in a region, during a war, they all got together, fought together, side by side, as brothers, a unity as if was there forever, a bond that cannot be broken, a brotherhood of mankind. Humans never hesitate to unite in times of danger, forgoing all enmities, for a greater purpose, for a greater cause. From such examples we should learn immense from, knowing, that a common great cause can bring together nations, can unite continents, all belonging to one kind, Humankind. I think you may witness this most definitively if we were attacked by aliens, however we have to do with spreading a common cause of Peace for now. But, since peace is not threatening enough, the journey may be little slow to bring all together, but its worth it, since there will be no bloodshed.
Obstacles or Rejections are challenges of life to be overcome, and just like the soldier that gets more efficient and experienced after each war, you too will learn and experience immensely from your journeys of overcoming your obstacles.
Discrimination is something to loathe, something to wage war against, something to be changed not by fighting, but by replacing it with Love.
(Yet, seldom, sadly enough, there remains no option but to fight it with destruction.)
5/16/2009 10:59:35 PM
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"The 'Truth' or 'Reality' then, depends on us, for we must decide what we want to know, and make a choice, because our very decision to test for the truth actually has an effect on it."
Vince Morris "Zanshin"
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goodnight gabeen!
comment comprehended and highly appreciated :)
ReplyDeletebut i like what i wrote better ;-)
ReplyDeleteI simply loved reading this particular piece of writing.This piece of writing brings out the pain, sadness and dark side of every human being. Reading your writing is truly a treat. I should thank you for that
ReplyDeleteU are always welcome :)
ReplyDeleteI agree that in this world the the worst kind of rejection is that of love. I dnt know whether it helps us to be more determined in life. But I think it leaves us with a tiny pin hole in our heart which keeps us awake at night and that pin hole seem so big that we cannot fill it with the waters of all the oceceans or by the whole blue sky...
ReplyDeleteo yes Sir, the worst kind of rejection is that of love. for instance, imagine being rejected aft working hard to learn to love ur in-laws..i know it sounds funny but it is really ugly wen u r (or ur love is)rejected by ur in-laws.
ReplyDeletelove is a huge word that can be used as a general synonym for all our good feelings. and no gud feeling deserves to face the stigma of rejection........
Thank yu fr ur comment Sir